This is a bit of an unrealistic question. We are who we are because of the past that has shaped us. What if we opt to forge ahead with a new direction? Is that part of the growth our past delivers? Here’s a more interesting question: How much do we change for our spouse? I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Prior to my previous relationship I had acted based mostly on instinct when it came to dating. My instincts were, I have to say, very good. I dated some wonderful women who were wonderful. Now days, I find myself most NOT dating, and analyzing why a particular girl wouldn’t be right for me. W.T.Heck. I seem to be convinced I need to find someone that ‘fits’ me.

To that, I call BS. I want someone who pushes me a bit, someone who puts me on edge: someone who I find exciting sometimes. I enjoy the safe relationship, but if there’s never any edge to it, it becomes more work than enjoyment. Like my once gushing project says: I want to find someone who enjoys putting up with me. I want to enjoy putting up with her. I don’t need every day to be filled with edgy excitement, just once in a while is good.

I’ve always suggested it’s important to find someone you want to grow together with. I won’t be the same person in 10 years, I’m not even close to the same person I was 5 years ago, even. (Wow, not even close!) So, I hope that someday I find someone who understands that: knows I’ll change, knows they’ll change- is okay with that. The important part is that that other person pushes me to grow, to change, try new things, grow together and I desire to do the same in return. Eyes on the prize folks: happiness, sometimes that requires you to step outside your normal comfort zone.